This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (2475)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (4775)
On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (6408)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (2234)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (1036)
On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9842) - you deserved it (18532)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (22876)
On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (2279)
On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (2870)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (11154)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16119) - you deserved it (32346)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (10746)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
