Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Wolstenholme

Search for a member

Wolstenholme
  • Town/Country : San Diego
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Wolstenholme : Geoff > Gavin > Ryan > Ray > Michael > Jack SORRY JACK! STILL LOVE YA BUDDY!

Wolstenholme's last visitors

aFuckinDeathwishjen1682alexmac222emxy92monkeycrutchcarl_CIOwhatSilvinomiaecheshirecat13242amaris_nichole01slimkelseyThaPrelude

Wolstenholme's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Wolstenholme's badges

Wolstenholme's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (15252)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (4680)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (53307)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

#21066428
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33839) - you deserved it (14093)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by heyadrian - United States (California)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43255) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40829) - you deserved it (3782)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57283) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (6271)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (5684)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (13482)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60810) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60810) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60810) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: