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Wolstenholme's favorite FMLs
by 2ndgenoration / 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by heyadrian / 02/20/2014 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Health
by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML
by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health