Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Witchcraft

Search for a member

Witchcraft

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7600
  • Number of comments : 1238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Witchcraft's page activity

Visits<b>luminalunii69</b> - yesterday at 4:16pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:22am<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:08am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:08pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:56pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:38am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:24pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Starshadow</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:32pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:37pm<b>ductefy</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:23pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:29pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>raenoleah</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:45pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:34pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:34pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:29pm

Witchcraft's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Witchcraft's badges

Witchcraft's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97737) - you deserved it (4795)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59414) - you deserved it (9527)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59414) - you deserved it (9527)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59414) - you deserved it (9527)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57202) - you deserved it (17199)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (53441)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

#3078686
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48653) - you deserved it (3580)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67275) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38611) - you deserved it (23314)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (76343)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML

#839552
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48150) - you deserved it (25482)

On 04/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134606) - you deserved it (20211)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

#255362
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68903) - you deserved it (2779)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46303) - you deserved it (14230)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (772018) - you deserved it (82786)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: