Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Witchcraft

Search for a member

Witchcraft

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7440
  • Number of comments : 1238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Witchcraft's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - yesterday at 7:39am<b>mathen</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:38am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:24pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Starshadow</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:32pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:37pm<b>ductefy</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:23pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:29pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>raenoleah</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:45pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:34pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:34pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02am<b>GoodRiddance</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:41pm<b>JaredTheGreat</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:53am

Witchcraft's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Witchcraft's badges

Witchcraft's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97622) - you deserved it (4794)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59370) - you deserved it (9518)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59370) - you deserved it (9518)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59370) - you deserved it (9518)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57165) - you deserved it (17195)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (53419)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

#3078686
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48285) - you deserved it (3544)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67228) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (23307)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6633) - you deserved it (76288)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML

#839552
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (25472)

On 04/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134392) - you deserved it (20203)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

#255362
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68867) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46270) - you deserved it (14223)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
738 comments

I agree, your life sucks (768628) - you deserved it (82709)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: