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Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (12245)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (57827)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17898) - you deserved it (33721)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (34132)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4995) - you deserved it (38061)
On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9255) - you deserved it (63203)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (4578)
On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (4578)
On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54545) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (4511)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (4511)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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