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Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (5991)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (5991)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (25849)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8664) - you deserved it (20559)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17248) - you deserved it (3500)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4375) - you deserved it (23340)
On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38380) - you deserved it (2900)
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38380) - you deserved it (2900)
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38380) - you deserved it (2900)
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (15032)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44170) - you deserved it (7525)
On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (3677)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (2940)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (2202)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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