Witchcraft

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Offline (the 04/23/2015 at 3:03am)

Witchcraft

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 January 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11502
  • Number of comments : 1238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Witchcraft's page activity

Visits<b>Zufallian</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:24pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:36pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:05pm<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 7:52am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 8:16pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:37pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 2:16am<b>LowLifeKid</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:34pm<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:30am<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 12:55am<b>trevieh47</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:19pm<b>salii321</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:14am<b>Spiral061</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:48pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:25pm<b>kyletg09</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:41pm<b>koolkool994</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:54am<b>dramaelf</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>dramaelf</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 6:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:38pm

Witchcraft's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Witchcraft's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

by Username / 03/17/2011 at 12:04am / Kids

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

by anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 1:58am / United States / Work

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

by Cellphonetroubles / 11/19/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

by Poopyhead / 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm / Ireland (Cork) / Health

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

by thornrose22 / 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

by pathetic / 10/31/2009 at 6:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

by Lizofsmeg / 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Health

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

by mack / 10/25/2009 at 4:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous