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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
by sadfantasy / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while brushing my teeth, a fly flew into my mouth. It got caught in my electric toothbrush and was sucked into the circular bristles, getting crushed between the brush and my braces. I now have fly guts and goo stuck between my brackets, and I can't get rid of the taste. FML
by PackardBell / 03/27/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 10:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 5:55pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 3:07pm / United States (California) / Money
by yourclotheslookgay / 03/25/2016 at 12:00pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous
by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I managed to have 17 different nosebleeds throughout the most important job interview of my life. I managed to bleed all over my own suit, my résumé, the carpet, and the corridor leading to the bathroom. FML
by RIPLife / 03/24/2016 at 10:03am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Work
- Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away.… Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright,… Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She…