Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Wiringify

Online | Search for a member

Wiringify

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7924
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Wiringify : Live.

On FML everyday.

Love the app.

Wiringify's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 9:24am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:10pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:22am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Geraldinehoney</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:19pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>bjf21</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:53pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:53pm<b>PizzaCheese15</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>xR3cKl3sSx</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:15am<b>double_jointed</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:17pm<b>jbcy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:13am<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Checker</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:31pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:14am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:21am

Wiringify's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Wiringify's badges

Wiringify's favorite FMLs

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52369) - you deserved it (7833)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (4311)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50968) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53246) - you deserved it (5047)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (31742)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (7781)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39314) - you deserved it (4052)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

#21059569
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (6282)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by EmmaleeSupertramp (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (47633)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47119) - you deserved it (17088)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (49135)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: