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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:22am / United States / Work
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
by KeysToHappiness / 08/16/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML
by MikaykayUnicorn / 08/15/2015 at 11:41pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
by anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML
by Tarlachia / 08/15/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
by someboody / 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by MissyPants / 08/15/2015 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Love
by simugeek / 08/15/2015 at 1:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML
by suuoerwholock / 08/14/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
by Wellthisishawkward / 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm / United States / Transportation
by RobotUnicorn1209 / 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 9:19am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love
Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML
by Tattoo_Freak / 08/14/2015 at 7:08am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health