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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
Today, like every other day, my roommate's alarm began to go off at 7:30am. What time does she have to wake up? 10:00am. Why does she have her alarm go off for two and a half hours? Because last semester she needed it to go off then and she is too lazy to change it. FML
by fckdorms / 05/09/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by seriouslydad / 05/08/2016 at 9:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had to calm down an angry customer who claimed one of my employees had "traumatized" her dog. Apparently her dog is really OCD and my employee didn't line up the dog bed at the right angle. She threatened to report us to the BBB. How do these morons even exist? FML
by dumbfounded / 05/08/2016 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Work
by wrock84 / 05/07/2016 at 9:50pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy
by 1942Ford / 05/07/2016 at 10:08am / United States (California) / Health
by 3,500 down / 05/07/2016 at 4:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by filipkm / 05/06/2016 at 10:37am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Health
Today, I took my neighbor, who lives alone, to the hospital as she was complaining of stomach pains. Being a healthcare professional, all signs pointed to appendicitis. We waited for 6 hours to be told she needed to poo. FML
by chocolateteacup / 05/06/2016 at 5:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
by creeper-status / 05/05/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by blondessdoll / 05/04/2016 at 1:30pm / United States / Health
Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML
by Maddi / 05/03/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after spending hours of my time painting sets for the last two months - with less dedication than only the head painter herself, and to the point where my health and grades suffered - I finally got to see the play I worked so hard on. I was the only one they forgot to put in the playbill. FML
by dead_painter / 05/03/2016 at 8:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek
- Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat,… Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!"…