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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by sad as shit / 12/31/2015 at 7:41pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, at work, our boss's son came in to help. The whole time he was there he sat in the back on his phone not helping and whenever we asked him to do something, he had an attitude. The only time he voluntarily got up to help was when his dad came in to check on the restaurant. FML
by sickofit / 12/31/2015 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by hakuna_matata / 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 8:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML
by NeverLookingAgain / 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
by debiebs / 12/29/2015 at 7:04am / Brazil (Bahia) / Love
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love
Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML
by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML
by FMeRight? / 12/28/2015 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous