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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
by nonnie31 / 04/25/2016 at 3:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML
by Katt / 04/25/2016 at 2:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
by Nasty / 04/25/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML
by too eager / 04/25/2016 at 11:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by jlw1998 / 04/25/2016 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
by hotmess / 04/24/2016 at 11:49pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Fuck's sake! / 04/24/2016 at 9:34pm / Singapore / Work
Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML
by just die already / 04/24/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML
by sleepingbeauty / 04/24/2016 at 4:45am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by HomeAlone / 04/24/2016 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Roomie pay rent plz / 04/23/2016 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML
by she won't see a therapist / 04/23/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 3:41pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids