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Wiringify's favorite FMLs
Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2016 at 2:20am / Australia / Work
by longing for emancipation / 04/29/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health
Today, a learner driver was practicing maneuvers in the parking lot at work. This happens a lot, and my colleagues and I usually have fun watching and laughing. It was all fun and games as usual, until the learner crashed into my car. FML
by NickySimpson / 04/29/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sam.exe / 04/29/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML
by DeathbyWording / 04/29/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by DeepFriedLettuce / 04/28/2016 at 9:33pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anon / 04/28/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by AintEasyBeinWheezy / 04/28/2016 at 2:26pm / United States / Health
Today, my fiancé tells me he loves me about 100 times a day. At first it was cute, but now it's getting really annoying. We can't have a conversation without him throwing in about 10 "I love you"s. I'm beginning to not want to talk to him anymore. FML
by Jane / 04/27/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML
by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous