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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3450) - you deserved it (897)
On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28449) - you deserved it (2054)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (2831)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (3054)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70600) - you deserved it (3959)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (2827)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (2256)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52540) - you deserved it (3114)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43547) - you deserved it (7202)
On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (11355)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48748) - you deserved it (3754)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44397) - you deserved it (3086)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51097) - you deserved it (3071)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43243) - you deserved it (9351)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (10366)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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