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WinterPerfection's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
by Oriianna Raiinbow / 10/23/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by notgoodenough38 / 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
by Teaching / 11/12/2009 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Kids
by TRAMATIZED / 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…