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Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (1545)
On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States
Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (1849)
On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (5226)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38871) - you deserved it (3714)
On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (25324)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (4139)
On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (2242)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (7978)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (8964)
On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (2366)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)
Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (3804)
On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39509) - you deserved it (16362)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48701) - you deserved it (3210)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58705) - you deserved it (5768)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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