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This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1818) - you deserved it (8111)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9279) - you deserved it (851)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (932)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7299) - you deserved it (1054)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7545) - you deserved it (720)
On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7594) - you deserved it (950)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (1500)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6040) - you deserved it (1642)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5609) - you deserved it (1509)
On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1867) - you deserved it (26600)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10067) - you deserved it (986)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia
Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6152) - you deserved it (704)
On 05/06/2012 at 7:54am - misc - by geez_wth - United States (California)
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (1073)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (888) - you deserved it (18720)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3577) - you deserved it (12358) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
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