Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WilliamMurderfac

Online | Search for a member

WilliamMurderfac

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WilliamMurderfac : I like metal, video games, and anime. Im mostly a lurker, been around for a while but i generally dont post comments.

WilliamMurderfac's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - yesterday at 4:35am<b>Sethan01</b> - yesterday at 7:21pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:59pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:01am<b>minioncandy</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:41am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:16pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:20pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Thorteris</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:46pm<b>PuggieKid</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:24pm<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:10am<b>purepumpkin</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:19am<b>chromegirl666</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 7:20pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:42pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:26pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:10pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:43am

WilliamMurderfac's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of WilliamMurderfac's badges

WilliamMurderfac's favorite FMLs

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (3933)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (1809)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (3862)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (2136)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (19292)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (19292)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (33007)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (33007)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (6062)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (6398)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: