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WildOshawott's favorite FMLs
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lucy / 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML
by NotEnoughCleaner / 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Animals
by nnnaaazzz / 10/24/2009 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML
by OhNo. / 07/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
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