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WildOshawott's favorite FMLs
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lucy / 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML
by NotEnoughCleaner / 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Animals
by nnnaaazzz / 10/24/2009 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML
by OhNo. / 07/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…