I love writing and playing soccer. I have a huge interest in technology and engineering. I am a very quiet person, but that doesn't mean I don't talk.
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5949) - you totally deserved it (43857)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45982) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you totally deserved it (6321)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by WetPhone (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52230) - you totally deserved it (9408)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you totally deserved it (24545)
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42350) - you totally deserved it (2704)
On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74628) - you totally deserved it (2593)
On 06/04/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by no.no.dan. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you totally deserved it (10957)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you totally deserved it (3326)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11201) - you totally deserved it (40247)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you totally deserved it (4295)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:59am - money - by alynn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you totally deserved it (8303)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you totally deserved it (1540)
On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you totally deserved it (36499)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you totally deserved it (8226)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
