Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member
About WhoopteDo : I'm a guy. I like roleplaying, gaming, anime, reading, image editing, music, and sports. And I'm a furry. Nineteen (in case you're too lazy to look up) if you're still reading after that furry thing. I also properly know how to draw a lower case "e" unlike everyone else. Yeah I'm serious about all that. I like girls a lot too.. But you should go back to slacking off and laughing at the miseries of others now. Or taking that crap..
P.S. Feel free to message me about whatever.
P.P.S. The images on my profile are not made by myself.
Are you really this bored? Fine then..
A tree in a library? I bet it wood leaf through the pages of a book or two.
Why was the actor bad at bowling? He couldn't get his role right.
Remember that even if you're the slowest person you know, you beat all the other sea men in the race to the egg.
If a quiz is a quizzicle then what's a test?
If someone says "Thank you captain obvious", acknowledge them with "No problem seargent sarcasm".
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015