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Whirling_Kumquat

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Whirling_Kumquat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2785
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Whirling_Kumquat's page activity

Visits<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:19pm<b>idoc300</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 2:00pm<b>Bubbelz</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 2:41am<b>MMA_Canada92</b> - the 04/05/2012 at 12:41am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:09pm<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 2:29pm<b>mysig</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 4:54pm<b>isyk</b> - the 09/04/2010 at 8:56pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 09/01/2010 at 4:29pm<b>jasongs</b> - the 08/31/2010 at 3:44am<b>Dale_xD</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 9:03pm<b>drainyou123</b> - the 03/04/2010 at 10:32pm<b>broke_otaku</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 4:28pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 2:03am<b>FATTY_MCDOOGLE</b> - the 12/02/2009 at 7:40pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 5:46am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 10/07/2009 at 8:11pm

Whirling_Kumquat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Whirling_Kumquat's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (8038)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

#5789992
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (50082)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52908) - you deserved it (26855)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (41633)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

#5626846
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (4261)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by ohnoooooo (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (6565)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58420) - you deserved it (15071)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (4039)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (4141)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45081) - you deserved it (5115)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (64519)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)



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