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WhatsUpJJ's favorite FMLs
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by footfood / 06/27/2011 at 10:56am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML
by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML
by norestforthewicked / 04/19/2011 at 12:30am / Health
Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML
by in pain / 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML
by wtf / 08/15/2010 at 8:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by breathexali / 07/24/2010 at 6:50am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
by Anonymous / 07/03/2010 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
by Tiff676 / 08/16/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous