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WhatsUpJJ's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
by Ethan_18 / 12/14/2012 at 12:10am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Kids
by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm / United States / Kids
by JessThompson / 12/05/2012 at 11:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Dave / 11/29/2012 at 9:22am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…