Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WhatsUpJJ

Search for a member

WhatsUpJJ

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

WhatsUpJJ's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of WhatsUpJJ's badges

WhatsUpJJ's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49117) - you deserved it (8926)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47120) - you deserved it (3175)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49872) - you deserved it (6999)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48377) - you deserved it (4422)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39676) - you deserved it (8870)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48853) - you deserved it (5681)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (6667)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (32184)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (5613)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (45983)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (5770)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12482) - you deserved it (31980)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: