Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WhatsOpTic

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 5:49pm) | Search for a member

WhatsOpTic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 379
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WhatsOpTic : Soooo my name is Blake. I'm 17 and live in a small town in Florida. I love Naruto and Dragon Ball Z ( don't hate). Don't be afraid to message me :)! I like this app, and I love iFunny and Xbox. Gamertag: sW Nagato Add me! I recently have been playing Naruto Storm 3 but I play all Call of Duty's, GTA 5, Battlefield, and Minecraft. Hmmm not much else really...Oh and Kik is: Pain_Nagato if you wanna talk often! But yeahhh that's all just message me don't be shy :)! I'm kinda weird sometimes though lol

WhatsOpTic's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47pm<b>TERMINATOR_0</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:16pm<b>drdeathnacho</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:34pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Mspepsi21</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:07am<b>zandalee</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:43am<b>TakDatWitU</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:59pm<b>redheadedmonster</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:35pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:29pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:02pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:18pm<b>SinglePringles99</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:29pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>ChawanKiti</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:39pm<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:51pm<b>CUPCAKESLOVER24</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:37pm

WhatsOpTic's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of WhatsOpTic's badges

WhatsOpTic's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (8330)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (7024)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42649) - you deserved it (10974)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

#21039586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41458) - you deserved it (3847)

On 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41311) - you deserved it (8160)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

#21034026
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (12467)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59464) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (5119)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (33903)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84408) - you deserved it (19382)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (219805)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (67671)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: