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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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WhatANoob

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WhatANoob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 658
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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WhatANoob's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (1696)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1847)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

#8590514 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (3618) - you deserved it (27566)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

#7842580 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (3578)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:57am - love - by lonestar (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

#7824554 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (7314)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nonameLiz (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (6414) - you deserved it (37463)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (37232) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a test, I heard a buzzing in my purse. Thinking it was my cell phone vibrating, I nudged the purse under my desk, but the sound only got louder. My teacher, who has a strict no-cell policy, walked over to remove the phone from my bag. She pulled out my vibrator instead. FML

#792357 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (62980)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (60309) - you deserved it (15530)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (5870)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)