About Well8302 : Not really anything interesting....military man, currently on my first deployment. Love to hunt, icefish, anything outdoors, really. Anything ya wanna know, message me. Any cute Chivettes out there? Regular Chiver here. ;)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9351) - you deserved it (42217)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4358)
On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20708) - you deserved it (3699)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63962)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (1817)
On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (16451)
On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (4519)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13927) - you deserved it (3097)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (3162)
On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (2069)
On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (1224)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75029) - you deserved it (10603)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (16626)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
