Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WelcomeToAndale

Offline (the 03/21/2014 at 7:11am) | Search for a member

WelcomeToAndale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1389
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WelcomeToAndale : Big Fallout 3 & New Vegas fan.

WelcomeToAndale's page activity

Visits<b>_Heisenberg__</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:06am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:35am<b>dipsheep</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:55pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>Treken</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:00am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:39am<b>little_aliceee</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:38am<b>LiterOfCola</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:20am<b>Maxoubinouchou</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:15pm<b>spolin124</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:03pm<b>The_Railgun</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:16am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:40am<b>redwings1340</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:22am<b>WaywardDaughter</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:31pm<b>CozzaPayne</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:00pm<b>TresAmusant</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:36am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 12:39am

WelcomeToAndale's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of WelcomeToAndale's badges

WelcomeToAndale's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (3317)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50471) - you deserved it (23448)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (7429)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58710) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20686980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60184) - you deserved it (7996)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:23am - love - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (4139)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52226) - you deserved it (2830)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (6241)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37413) - you deserved it (4092)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (3896)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57583) - you deserved it (3859)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46222) - you deserved it (4311)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (5047)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: