Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WelcomeToAndale

Offline (the 03/21/2014 at 7:11am) | Search for a member

WelcomeToAndale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1471
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WelcomeToAndale : Big Fallout 3 & New Vegas fan.

WelcomeToAndale's page activity

Visits<b>_Heisenberg__</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:06am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:35am<b>dipsheep</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:55pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>Treken</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:00am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:39am<b>little_aliceee</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:38am<b>LiterOfCola</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:20am<b>Maxoubinouchou</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:15pm<b>spolin124</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:03pm<b>The_Railgun</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:16am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:40am<b>redwings1340</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:22am<b>WaywardDaughter</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:31pm<b>CozzaPayne</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:00pm<b>TresAmusant</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:36am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 12:39am

WelcomeToAndale's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of WelcomeToAndale's badges

WelcomeToAndale's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53306) - you deserved it (8979)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (8982)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57073) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65780) - you deserved it (3576)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (7284)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (53336)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (43460)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (5059)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

#20690847
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (43479)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53843) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55762) - you deserved it (32831)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (13460)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (11369)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: