About Weetart : I swear like a fucking trucker, that's about it.
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Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (11394)
On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38842) - you deserved it (472)
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (50513)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (29672)
On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11928) - you deserved it (31687)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38629) - you deserved it (2569)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (10921)
On 01/26/2011 at 8:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (2114)
On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (5074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (4966)
On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (5081)
On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (7786)
On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40552) - you deserved it (4337)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (6480)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2254)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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