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Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you totally deserved it (994)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2994) - you totally deserved it (24826)
On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you totally deserved it (1691)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6103) - you totally deserved it (28351)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19572) - you totally deserved it (1406)
On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I recieved a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you totally deserved it (1008)
On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4125) - you totally deserved it (5546)
On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you totally deserved it (2317)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you totally deserved it (10558)
On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you totally deserved it (1229)
On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4869) - you totally deserved it (23790)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4751) - you totally deserved it (25909)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39215) - you totally deserved it (5940)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you totally deserved it (1450)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my car crashed, the only refuge was at a nearby house, of which the inhabitant of the house was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you totally deserved it (2663)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)
