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WearingHats

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WearingHats
  • Town/Country : Fairfax, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 July 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1454
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About WearingHats : Commenters I Like: Me

Hat Collection:
Grumpy hat
Party hat
Sex hat
Taking-A-Shit hat

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WearingHats's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (35604)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15728) - you deserved it (38669)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80086) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (90119)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (15924)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

#2679727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56269) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51688) - you deserved it (8264)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45258) - you deserved it (18553)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61827) - you deserved it (2740)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218585) - you deserved it (28159)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72641) - you deserved it (5921)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62255) - you deserved it (4820)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (7088)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)



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