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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (3959)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44642) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2696)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (1741)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by wilks311 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17012) - you deserved it (29655)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13290) - you deserved it (13927)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (2636)
On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (4359)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (1784)
On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (1209)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (14776)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (29916)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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