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WeWalkIn1D's FML badges
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WeWalkIn1D's favorite FMLs
Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
by Hesintrouble / 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
by black hoodie / 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 3:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
by dino0123 / 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Love