About WeAreAHurricane : Don't lie to yourself
Lie to everyone else instead
It's more fun that way :)
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Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (3345)
On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (5014)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (1982)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7662) - you deserved it (28483)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (3454)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Half-way through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14565) - you deserved it (7422)
On 05/18/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15201) - you deserved it (1334)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6591) - you deserved it (4852)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4302) - you deserved it (16433)
On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6146) - you deserved it (6626)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (3005)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12759) - you deserved it (2955)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (1905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Monday 17 June 2013
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