Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Water

Search for a member

Water

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4778
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Water's page activity

Visits<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am<b>badboy6865</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 3:20pm<b>lovely_189</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 8:47pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 6:28pm<b>jbizzle</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 7:53pm<b>MrJentipede</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 2:33pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18076) - you deserved it (11352)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7638) - you deserved it (28684)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (1847)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (58894)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (6365)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (15942)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

#482
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (2293)

On 12/09/2008 at 10:09pm - love - by Clader - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

#466
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/08/2008 at 2:26am - love - by Numou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22395) - you deserved it (16265)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (6669)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (8427)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (5552)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (3559)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I gave my son a row for losing a very important paper that I need for my work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

#267
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6537) - you deserved it (51910)

On 11/10/2008 at 7:06am - kids - by Daddy - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: