Water

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Water

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6159
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's page activity

Visits<b>TurtleTim</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:24pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:26pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:55am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:16am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:07pm<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:55pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

by Kika / 01/20/2009 at 2:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

by f__k_it / 01/18/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

by wasted_life / 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

by millzee / 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

by FUKDOUG / 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

by Mr. Shawzy / 01/14/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

by dannij08 / 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

by doh / 01/10/2009 at 12:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

by Cùchulainn / 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm / Love

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

by Lou Czar / 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

by shocked1 / 01/07/2009 at 10:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

by takeiteasy / 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

by maxiflouf / 12/28/2008 at 4:50am / Geek