Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Water

Search for a member

Water

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4842
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Water's page activity

Visits<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am<b>badboy6865</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 3:20pm<b>lovely_189</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 8:47pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 6:28pm<b>jbizzle</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 7:53pm<b>MrJentipede</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 2:33pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59011) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17197) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (36566)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (3075)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (1502)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (2430)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

#1166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4546) - you deserved it (22566)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by FUKDOUG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7238)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5545) - you deserved it (35346)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

#920
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (3625)

On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (7978)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13566) - you deserved it (69351)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

#727
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36499) - you deserved it (9220)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by shocked1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

#721
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (28939)

On 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by takeiteasy - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

#617
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (2269)

On 12/28/2008 at 4:50am - misc - by maxiflouf - Sent from mobile version



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: