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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (37619)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65423) - you deserved it (8895)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10929) - you deserved it (29877)
On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73679) - you deserved it (4393)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I love her. She said: "me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (3581)
On 02/22/2009 at 5:01am - love - by Reaper - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (91249)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (943)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (10084)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2453)
On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (36637)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (2036)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (2448)
On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (5416)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (4822)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13872) - you deserved it (18349)
On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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