Water

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Water

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5764
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's page activity

Visits<b>TurtleTim</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:24pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:26pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:55am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:16am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:07pm<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:55pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I love her. She said: "me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML

by Reaper / 02/22/2009 at 5:01am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:30am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

by girlmeetsworld / 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

by Noname / 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

by kolgate / 02/15/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

by Noname / 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

by abi_vet_student / 02/13/2009 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Animals

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

by sissica / 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

by qwertyasdfghzxcv / 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

by red button / 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

by ADD / 02/11/2009 at 9:59am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Work