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Water

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Water
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4565
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's favorite FMLs

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (42908)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (452091) - you deserved it (32019)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

#194766
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85094) - you deserved it (4578)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62427) - you deserved it (3688)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169312) - you deserved it (13634)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

#168373
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56771) - you deserved it (3701)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

#153348
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (196477)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59167)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48474) - you deserved it (3927)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

#135843
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48433) - you deserved it (14051)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by pk24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (38410)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (3380)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64512) - you deserved it (16985)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (38261)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

#114016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66462) - you deserved it (8967)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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