Water

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Water

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5790
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's page activity

Visits<b>TurtleTim</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:24pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:26pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:55am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:16am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:07pm<b>dinosaursandfish</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:06am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:41pm<b>derekmalc</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:21pm<b>sux4ubud</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:29pm<b>chosoo</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:32pm<b>dragon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 4:53am<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:51am<b>ohhdamn</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm<b>Toxic_John</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 3:00pm<b>grandmasattack</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:38am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:55pm

Water's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Water's favorite FMLs

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

by Nate / 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

by hlev24 / 03/03/2009 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

by oprahahaha / 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

by Swaby / 03/01/2009 at 3:14am / Hong Kong / Health

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

by ugh!! / 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

by MADfml / 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

by pk24 / 02/25/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

by Ren / 02/24/2009 at 5:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

by starbird / 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy