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Water

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Water
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4555
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Water's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (129973)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59277) - you deserved it (21636)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37021) - you deserved it (62253)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

#324615
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57847) - you deserved it (16063)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm - money - by california (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66893) - you deserved it (15579)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (105032)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12217) - you deserved it (61326)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68965) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

#256188
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (11211)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - kids - by xoVioLoveox (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML

#249220
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41947) - you deserved it (10711)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60547) - you deserved it (6088)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

#228106
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (3088)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59093) - you deserved it (3146)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43433) - you deserved it (5585)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)



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