Warnorse

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Warnorse

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 911
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Warnorse's page activity

Visits<b>warriorcatjaypaw</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 3:44am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>NotLemon</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:21pm<b>WarriorBl00d</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:22pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:29pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 4:56am<b>adyb</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 2:40pm<b>lonelyguy1995</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:35pm

Warnorse's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Inception

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Warnorse's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

by scarredforlife / 02/12/2016 at 4:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

by oliver / 01/27/2016 at 7:02am / United States / Health

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:49am / Intimacy

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

by Why Me / 08/12/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

by henhouse / 07/18/2015 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML

by Dissent21 / 06/05/2015 at 5:29pm / United States (Idaho) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals