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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_Smurf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 866
  • Number of comments : 324
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>HJKM</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:39pm<b>GeekySavy</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:56am<b>unfortunateface</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:00pm<b>FMLifers</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:26am<b>FieryBeach</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:24am<b>omnia</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:25am<b>babygurl69xoxo</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:36pm<b>driftlobster</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:33am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:35am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:21pm<b>JazNim17</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:28pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:21am<b>blazingturtle</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 7:51am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:59pm<b>lesliemaxiell</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:43am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:52pm<b>OneForYourMoney</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:44pm<b>TooBlown420</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:21pm

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Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (5027)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (2776)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57529) - you deserved it (7115)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40962) - you deserved it (5952)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (14367)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (52231)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (42310)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (51408)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (11182)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (34314)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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