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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3563
  • Number of comments : 501
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>conman317</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 1:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 8:24pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 7:53am<b>aggoden_bed</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 1:23am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 7:55pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 4:15am<b>csjc</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 3:40am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 4:58pm<b>novdestiny</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 8:14pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>wallac7</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 1:21pm<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 11:22pm<b>indefiniteforest</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 4:07am<b>hall0ween</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 2:23pm<b>smallbuilder3</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:56am<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>csjc</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 9:40am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 5:22am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:07pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:25pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 6:19am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:38am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:04pm<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:54am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:12pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:18pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:51am / Money

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

by WeddingWoes / 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work