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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_SmurfWarmonger_Smurf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2520
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:54pm<b>rd_23</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:09am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:05am<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:48pm<b>Loving_Life98McK</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:56pm<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:27pm<b>lkah</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:35am<b>natty11</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:14pm<b>xDanax03</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:32pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:01am<b>geoh0400</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:20am<b>paxtoncat</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:23pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:45am<b>markcantlarp</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:07am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:29am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:54am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:12pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:18pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

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Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (13949)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72122) - you deserved it (4654)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84873) - you deserved it (7748)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (35545)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38712) - you deserved it (8108)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48737) - you deserved it (16324)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (5403)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (44539)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3433)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (1723)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (13582)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (50592)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (7754)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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