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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_SmurfWarmonger_Smurf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2008
  • Number of comments : 358
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 1:50am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:07am<b>olillia</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:15am<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:09am<b>yeahokay7</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Ugo318</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:48pm<b>Replyka</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:52am<b>crackajak</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:53am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:49pm<b>ChaoticMC1</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:50pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:02pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>little_one</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:16pm<b>angerytat</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:55am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:49pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Warmonger_Smurf's badges

Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (3584)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (3072)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13964) - you deserved it (28705)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (3961)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (17393)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (6008)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45217) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (3070)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60767) - you deserved it (7446)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41411) - you deserved it (5983)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (14864)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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