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Waffleman44

Offline (the 03/22/2015 at 7:59pm) | Search for a member

Waffleman44

1Liked!

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  • Number of visits : 151
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Waffleman44's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:37pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:37pm

Waffleman44's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Waffleman44's badges

Waffleman44's favorite FMLs

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43417) - you deserved it (2989)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (2220)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29697) - you deserved it (5863)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (4335)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (2937)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (2904)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States



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