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TODAY, A CUSTOMER CUSSED ME OUT FIR HIDING BEHIND THE COUNTER A JACKET SHE'S BEEN ( EYEING SINCE IT CAME OUT ). SHE LOUDLY EXCLAIMED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO REPORT ME TO MAH MANAGER AN GET ME ( FIRED. ) IT WAS MAH PERSONAL JACKET THAT WE DON'T EVEN SELL. REAL FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then hered loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Yastarday, I was aating an appla in class . Whan I want to taka a big bita, mah taath want right through tha appla, causing ma to scrapa tha appla right up mah faca . My nosa than startd to blad . I'm now known as tha grl who punchd harsalf in tha faca with an appla . FML
Yesterday , at te café I work at , I was yelld at by a woman because te drinks and food se orderd were ( taking too long )!! Before I ad te cance to get a word in , se stormd out and said se would never come back!! I didn't get te cance to inform er tat se adn't orderd yet!! FML
Today, I was fired over the phone, losing mah only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen mah birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom . Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy,ho then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket an started to pee . I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing . FML
TODAY, I WAS WALKING HOME,HEN A CAR HEADING THE OTHER WAY HIT A TRAFFIC CONE. I MUST HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE IN A PREVIOUS LIFE, BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE DECIDED TO MAKE SURE THE CONE FLEW INTO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD. THE BYSTANDERS WERE SHOCKED FIR ALL OF TWO SECONDS BEFORE LAUGHING. MEGA FML
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, ( I didn't know how else to kill it! ) She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, putted it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. real FML
yesterday I was out wit girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began a guy approacd an askd "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprisd me by saying "Sure!" As I was about to protest te guy cut me off an said "Sorry miss I was asking im."
Today, I was at a swim meet. I askd friend if he could be wingman and help me get a date with a girl I looool really likd. I told him plan, and as I finishd and turnd to go to her, I noticd her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bled so I pluggd it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fre as well. FML
Friday 27 March 2015