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About WTFIWWP : Submitted FML one June 26th, 2009:
Today I spent all day at the doctors. Yesterday I was in class going to wash my paint brushes. As I got to the sink I slipped, we all thought I caught myself until less than two seconds later I fell flat on my ass. Today everything hurts. FML
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (3443)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (4748)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (12513)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86633) - you deserved it (3069)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77124) - you deserved it (4578)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (2936)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (173013) - you deserved it (79421)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70421) - you deserved it (7681)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60378) - you deserved it (2061)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121992) - you deserved it (29422)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87652) - you deserved it (7297)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79282) - you deserved it (6355)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57991) - you deserved it (1800)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62672) - you deserved it (8967)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51126) - you deserved it (2742)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)
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