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Volcan

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 2:55am) | Search for a member

Volcan

5Fucked!

Volcan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22040
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>max367</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:00pm<b>bosco556</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:48pm<b>SirHenderson</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:58am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:38am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:23pm<b>misslysiak</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:24am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:19am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:35pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:44am<b>Karennnx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:55pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:38pm<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:48am<b>star97</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:04pm<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:57am

Fucked!<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Casper___t</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:20am<b>Maclaine21</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:10am

Volcan's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68529) - you deserved it (17358)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69230) - you deserved it (9405)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

#20563428
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (4510)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by hellostupid (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84349) - you deserved it (8728)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50461) - you deserved it (5757)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (3417)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (42498)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51293) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (37478)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55991) - you deserved it (8148)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42687) - you deserved it (6268)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (7473)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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