Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Search for a member

Volcan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7765
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:16pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>matthewj34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>baapii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>alex_the_tiger</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:49pm<b>DollFacex</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:00am<b>jennlody</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:26am<b>miianah1</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:50pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:10pm<b>the_weird_girl</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:48am<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40am

Volcan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (2687)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (45940)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (3460)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (4481)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41336) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (7559)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

#20747987
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (3550)

On 06/26/2013 at 5:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (7020)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38691) - you deserved it (5427)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (8728)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: