Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Online | Search for a member

Volcan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8486
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>zandra2020</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:41pm<b>javiz0922</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:47pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:44pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:23pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:51pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:16pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>matthewj34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>baapii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>alex_the_tiger</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:49pm<b>DollFacex</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:00am

Volcan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (54142)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50408) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62071) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47917) - you deserved it (3968)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63468) - you deserved it (4737)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47074) - you deserved it (6880)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53336) - you deserved it (6247)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (5899)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48947) - you deserved it (7115)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62445) - you deserved it (10816)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (17034)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55906) - you deserved it (5957)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45053) - you deserved it (11598)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (49134)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57673) - you deserved it (6814)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: