Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Offline (15 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Volcan

5Fucked!

Volcan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22686
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>71challenger</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:32pm<b>saltontherim</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:59am<b>Eman9000</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:50pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:41pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:42am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>max367</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:00pm<b>bosco556</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:48pm<b>SirHenderson</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:58am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:38am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:23pm<b>misslysiak</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:24am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:19am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:35pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:44am

Fucked!<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Casper___t</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:20am<b>Maclaine21</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:10am

Volcan's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51324) - you deserved it (3660)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60608) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (5708)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44310) - you deserved it (9448)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49636) - you deserved it (8121)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (11270)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47816) - you deserved it (3748)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58345) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

#20794141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48576) - you deserved it (3298)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57507) - you deserved it (6641)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55502) - you deserved it (9442)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (7640)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (34435)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: