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Volcan

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 2:55am) | Search for a member

Volcan

5Fucked!

Volcan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21177
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>SirHenderson</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:58am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:38am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:23pm<b>misslysiak</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:24am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:19am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:35pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:44am<b>Karennnx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:55pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:38pm<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:48am<b>star97</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:04pm<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:57am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:55pm<b>brutally</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:48am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:06pm<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Casper___t</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:20am<b>Maclaine21</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:10am

Volcan's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (3139)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61829) - you deserved it (8819)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (28277)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
117 comments

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55293) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46873) - you deserved it (8253)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49352) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45509) - you deserved it (25514)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58458) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

#20805698
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52464) - you deserved it (3425)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58892) - you deserved it (9691)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (65569)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (3537)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)



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