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Offline (the 09/04/2015 at 2:03am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 33462
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 1:24am<b>Survii</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 2:36am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 11:35am<b>AnonymousMeh</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:17pm<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 9:13am<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 2:30am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 4:51pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:51pm<b>399</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 12:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:14pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:05pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:15am<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:40pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 4:21pm<b>bamfoozled</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 6:05pm

Fucked!<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 8:30am<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:13pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 10:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:11am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:07am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:56pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:24pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Casper___t</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:20am<b>Maclaine21</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:10am

Volcan's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

by Bug8Frog / 07/30/2013 at 2:42am / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

by brokeandalone / 07/30/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Money

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

by Opheliae / 07/29/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

by LeaveTheGuyAlone / 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

by the un-loved child / 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo / 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Work