Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Search for a member

Volcan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7339
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:16pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>matthewj34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>baapii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>alex_the_tiger</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:49pm<b>DollFacex</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:00am<b>jennlody</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:26am<b>miianah1</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:50pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:10pm<b>the_weird_girl</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:48am<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40am<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:57am

Volcan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

#20850517
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42544) - you deserved it (3691)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:06am - health - by themarrowguy - United States

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2510)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (13224)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (2316)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (11007)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (14305)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?". The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49013) - you deserved it (3297)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (6503)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42772) - you deserved it (20963)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (2792)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: